Visiting the Past, Stealing Nothing
The snow fell from a Christmas card. (Revised Opening)A Salvation Army bell followed mehalfway down the street and a child was tugged along by a varnished red dog. Holding a hot...
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BernieThe flow of the poem is endearing.And the jolt comes with these lines The last flecks of snow drippedfrom my overcoat onto the carpet.And then we realize that even in our poems we are not able...
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On first read, it seems the first stanza isn't connected. So many rich images follow. The second stanza sets the tone and I'm of the school that something has to be told between the rich images to...
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II like so much in this poem. And I've read it several times today and kept thinking of offering something. I'm going to offer the first thing that jumped out at me because it still does. The ending....
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S---very happy you followed this narrative and found it entertaining. it is a story, slowly told. it reveals its secrets like the dancer with the fans. there is a new ending that was not in place...
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I enjoyed reading this background and the link. I was drawn into this having visited England last year and making it over London Bridge. Not nearly very newsworthy but I was able to relate to the poem...
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Hi bernie, I too liked the flow, and as someone else remarked, felt the opening S a little aloof from the rest of the piece - it seemed to warm up as it progresssed, if you follow me. Specific...
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hey Frank---the opening lines still a bit aloof?Yipes! On an ordinary street an ordinary childtugged along by a varnished red dog, oyster colored snow warm like a woman’s eyelash.Oyster colored snow...
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KathleenThanks.I was able to get to the poem with the help of your comments.And it makes a lot of sense to me,now.Sivakami
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Hi Bernie, I feel the snow "warm as a women's eyelash" is straining, poetically. Perhaps too folded in on itself in the service of a taut, tight image.? I stop there, and try to grasp how it is, and...
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O---much thanks for the refocus on the opening lines. nothing in a poem interests me so much as a poem's opening except for the close....LOL.i just posted a revision. a discussion of how a line or...
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